Sunday, March 28, 2010

Worthy of Celebration

My horoscope for today says "Instead of fixing your happiness on some faraway moment when you will be richer, lighter and more loved, you realize that this is the greatest moment of your life and worthy of celebration."

As a rule, I ignore my daily astrological forecast, but this one seems particularly timely and apt. Substitute "better rested, caught up on all email, blogs, and professional journals, and stunningly successful at everything you do" for the richer, lighter, and more loved part, and it about sums up my current state of mind.

Usually I come back from a professional conference rejuvenated in mind, body and spirit, ready to go back to work and Effect Change. And I did glean some excellent ideas and nuggets of inspiration from PLA this past week (which I will share later today or tomorrow).

But when I think of the seething eel-infested morass of scariness that awaits me in my Cluttered Corner Cubicle of Chaos (otherwise known as my "office"), I am filled with terror. Truly - my heart rate speeds up, I feel faint, my palms get clammy. There is SO MUCH TO DO. And I don't want to do a half-assed job, especially in these times. The YA and Children's Librarians deserve and need the best Youth Services Coordinator possible. And that person has got to be me. This is NOT the time to be having a panic attack!

The April 2010 issue of Sunset Magazine includes an essay by Anne Lamott, author not only of excellent novels but also of the essential book about writing, Bird by Bird. In the Sunset essay (not available online at the moment, unfortunately), she writes about the dangers of multitasking and a too-busy life. Her basic message, stated with her usual grace, humor, and straightforward common sense, is that you need to have some quiet time every day in order to connect with yourself. That time won't just happen - you have to make it happen, probably by giving up something else, be it cleaning the house, watching tv, exercising, or - erm - blogging.

Well - running is, for me, a way to connect with myself and the world around me, so that counts as a mindful, necessary, and creative activity. And sometimes my mind whirls so ceaselessly that I have to write, be it blog posts or letters to friends.

But, per the instructions of Anne Lamott and my horoscope, I am NOT going to waste time rending my garments over what I was not able to accomplish this past week due to illness and bad wifi connections nor will I spend the last two days of my long weekend fretting about what awaits me at work.

I am going to DELETE - UNREAD - all 487 new blog posts that have built up in my feed reader over the past week even though this will mean I will be out of the loop/in the dark/vastly ignorant of all recent library/literature issues and events (oh lord, the heart palpitations are starting...). I will do just enough catch-up work today and tomorrow to be able to look forward to Tuesday with anticipation, not dread.

This weekend has been sunny and warm, perfect weather for line-drying laundry, glorying in the flowers in my garden while ignoring the weeds, watching the chickens take dirt baths amongst the parsley, and being a busy little sun-drunk Vitamin D factory.

Time to celebrate this moment, right now.

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