hobyah hobyah hobyah (bark bark bark!)

When I was a small and impressionable child, my librarian mother often told me the story of the Hobyahs.

"Hobyah hobyah hobyah - tear down the hempstalks! Eat up the old man and the old woman! Carry off the little girl."

If you know this story - the original, not any bowdlerized versions - you know that little dog Turpie keeps scaring off the Hobyahs, despite the fact that his incessant barking so annoys the old man that he cuts off first his tail, then each of his four legs, and finally his head. And then of course the Hobyahs eat up the old man and his wife and carry off the little girl - who is saved by yet a different dog and his owner, rather a la Little Red Riding Hood.

A small and yappy dog named Teddy lives next door to us, and recently he has barked so often and so annoyingly that I have found myself telling my husband, "That little dog Teddy barks so that I can neither sleep nor slumber, and if I live 'til morning, I'm going to cut off little dog Teddy's head."

This despite the fact that 1. I consider myself an animal fan, being the proud companion of a passel of hens and a tangle of rats and one scrofulous hamster 2. it's not Teddy but his human who deserves my ire and 3. little dog Turpie remains a shining example of selfless, courageous heroism to me.

Strangely, I once saved Teddy's life, sort of/maybe. I was once at home when a terrible screaming came from outside - Teddy had run into the street and been hit by a car. Teddy's owner was too distraught to think straight, so I grabbed a towel, scooped his ominously still and bleeding body off the street, pushed him into her arms, and drove them both to the emergency vet. And what do you know - it turned out Teddy had merely been tapped by the car, had bitten his tongue (hence the blood), and then had apparently fainted. He was fine.

"Why did you save him? WHY??" my husband has moaned to me many times, as Teddy yaps his way through the solemn bits of a Netflix movie or startles us awake at 3 am.

"Well, think what might get us if it weren't for Teddy, " I answer. "The Hobyahs might be out there right now, waiting to tear down our hemp stalks."

But I still can't help sympathizing with the old man, just the tiniest little bit.